Nope, I'm not feeling homesick but I'm kinda' feeling gloomy these days. Maybe it's school stress making me feel extremely tired thus emotional, but I think it's also because these days there are some things that are happening beyond my control, and I feel as if I'm being left behind or something. I feel like a 13 year old boy again, scared of growing old and facing the future. Only this time, I'm actually old and I've already made some decisions that has changed the direction of my life since. I don't regret any of the decisions I've made so far, but suddenly I just find myself in a very vulnerable situation, vulnerable to emotional stress:

First, all my college friends are graduating in March. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, some of there are through with school beginning today. This only means that next year, I'll be going to school all by myself. Yeah, its an opportunity to make new friends and its gonna make me grow as a person, but then I know that I'll be missing my friends terribly. Through my three years in college, my friends have become a breath fresh air amidts the choking troubles of college life. Guys! Help me! I'm desperate!! Anyone interested in taking a 5th year extention?

Then, I've got my friends here in Japan. I know it's too early to say goodbye. But everytime I go out and have a good time with them, at the back of my head I know that soon, we'll all be going our separate ways, never knowing when we'll ever meet again. They've become my best buds here in Tokyo. I guess we're all far away from home, making us hungry for real relationships, thus making us best of friends. We've got no one else to be families with. I try my best not to think about it yet, but I'm pretty sure June will be a sad time for all of us.

So, that's me for now. Still struggling to study for the final exams, while going through all those mixed emotions. That's life... bleak